The problem with diaries is they take so much time out of your life. While you're writing your diary, you're not experiencing anything new — just rehashing old stuff. But that doesn't automatically make it a waste; otherwise, diaries would be absurd. And yet they’ve remained popular, even among the busiest of writers. There’s something self-indulgent about it, which suits the writer’s personality.
But it needs to be trained. I’m still at the beginning. I’m letting you witness my "mistakes." Even though, of course, there aren’t any. This is just my diary. I can write whatever the fuck I want and it would still be valid.
There’s nothing wrong with writing a diary. Your only real challenge is boredom — but somehow, I’m not boring. My thinking is on the edge, so reading my diary is like standing at the frontier of literature. Not that there's necessarily a lot to expect — but then again, how would you know, since I don’t even know?
A nonfiction book has a set of rules; a novel has none whatsoever. That’s why writing a novel is harder than writing nonfiction. Novels are the nobler beasts. A diary is on a similar level to a novel, since it requires no structure, no thread. It’s meant to be a personal record, which also includes private life — but who decides how much has to be included? A diary is always a selection, because you can't report everything that happens in your life. If you tried, you'd never leave your desk — you'd no longer be in life. Proust did that for a few years, never leaving his bed, drinking café au lait and eating sole filets, writing what he aptly called In Search of Lost Time.
So — I encourage you to opt for the paid version. I want this to sustain me as a writer, even if I were ever to stop writing books. Which, of course, won’t happen. But for some reason, I’ve become highly ambitious about this diary — because it’s a new form for me. It’s almost like writing with a live audience. There’s a difference between a private diary and a public one. I’ll try to be as private as possible, but right now, at the beginning, when we’re just getting to know each other — I’m still a little shy.
But there will be a point when I will reveal everything. But only to you. I have no idea when that will be and what it is, but you will be there to witness it.